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Friday, February 28, 2020

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

*2020 Update*
When I started this project, Jaden was 3-4 years old and now he's 13 and still the most awesome kid I could have ever hoped for! I love him to the moon and back.

People ask how was I able to complete this project while parenting a toddler. For years, Josh and I worked one hour away in SF which meant Jaden also went to preschool/daycare in SF because he needed to be dropped off/picked up in the normal preschool time-frame of 8am-6pm.

Starting the end of 2009, I was able to work every other week from home so I suddenly had all that day time to myself. I sang and edited from the time they left early in the morning until 7pm when they got back home. And then I would take the Musician Hat off and put the Mom Hat back on to make dinner and hang out with the fam. I also did all my "work from home" tasks at night. This is why I was able to accurately add up the amount of time I spent on this project. Exactly ten hours a day, five days a week, every other week. 1300 hours.

Unfortunately, I've never had that much time for music again.

This is why I haven't put out anything new. I have tried so many ways to incorporate music into my life while still making ends meet but I have yet to figure out how to do something that pays the bills while still having time/energy left over for music. Over the years, my thought process has been: start a business using my unique skills, put in the work until eventually it can continue without me by hiring additional help. I thought this would be true of the awesome vegan restaurant that Josh and I created and built up over the last few years but I was never able to step back and get any of my time back. I'm in the process of trying again with the current business but we will see. I'm often frustrated that none of the things I'm "good at" or "known for" are things I'm able to support myself with. The inability to create music has been my main source of depression over the years. I just can't figure out how to make things work in my favor.  I have to, though.

*original 2010 Post*

This song is dedicated to my three year old son, Jaden whom I love more than life itself.

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